Surrealness Pt.1

John Green.
Talked to me.
ON THE PHONE!
I think this qualifies for the first of my "Surrealness" series, don't you? There will be more to come, seeing as my life seems to filled with limitless opportunities for such occurences. Hmm, not much to add to this...

I love you guys. You could make rainbows cry skittles 'cause you're so amazing. Yes, I stole that from one of my Ficlets, but it's more true now than it was when I originally wrote it.

Love, love, love, love you guys! Don't forget that, okay?

Time For Life-Coaching With India...Aren't You Just Thrilled?

Okay, so I feel better. I think the little sob-fest I had over the weekend really lightened the load on my heart. Plus, Keegs's post (the one about I-love-you's) really inspired me. I truly and firmly believe that if we all said "I love you" to people we truly loved, the world would be a much nicer place to live in.

Some people are turned off by this idea and I can't understand why that is.

Those people obviously don't know how crucial it is to both your own mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being as well as that of the person whom you love. I went around both Facebook and Blogger messaging the people I love. In those messages I told them I love them, and I can only hope their day was brightened because of it. I know it made me feel better.

I challenge you: Go out and tell your loved ones how you feel. Moms and dads don't really count unless you don't normally do that kind of thing with them. But extended family? Friends? They need to hear it. Regardless of whether or not you think they already know, they need to hear it.

That's it. That's my monologue of the day. Rather light considering my previous state of despair, but what can I say? Life is rollercoaster of emotion. You can cry the whole way through and regret ever getting on or you can hop out slightly battered and bruised, but ready for another ride.

So Deep That I Didn't Even Scream

I need something else, would someone please just give me? Hit me, knock me out, and let me go back to sleep. I can laugh all I want inside I still am empty. So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me...
- "All That I've Got", by The Used

Rotten. That's how I feel right now. Absolutely rotten rotten rotten!

Why can't you come here? Pack up next year and fly out. We'll all be together again, and Exeter will be a better place because it will have people like you. You're all more than smart enough to get in, and it hurts my soul to know this. My days feel empty without you here. I float, wraith-like, pathetically, from group to group. I return always to the same two girls but wish that I didn't because they're not people I thought they were. Lonerdom is looking better than they're company at this point, and at times I relish the solitude from people. Just call me antisocial.

I miss George's witty conversation, and the stuff that Keegan and Amara say that more often than not makes no sense at all. I miss talking music and deep things with Camille, and I miss Harry well...being Harry. I miss Johan's hyperactivity, though I never thought I'd say it. I miss Camille Sheets's sarcasm. I miss your smiles and your laughs, and the little arguments that broke out over nothing at all.

I'm torn between chopping off my hair and pretending to be a boy so that I can go to St. Francis with Harry, setting aside my love for the male species and going to Sacred Heart with Camille, ignoring my dislike of Maranatha to be with Sheets and Blankets and Keegan, or resigning myself to ugly uniforms at La Salle.

No one here gets it. No one here will ever understand me, and know me like you guys do.

I know it's belated, but I'm crying like a baby as I write this. I wish I had told you guys much I loved you before I left. Because I do, I love you guys so so so so much. I can't breathe without you here and it feels like a part of me has been violently ripped away. It was so fast and so deep that I couldn't even scream.

Until now. Inside I'm screaming loud as I can, because it's hurts like crazy when your heart is ripped out.

I Wish I Could Come Up With A Clever Title

Okay, well again the title has little to nothing to do with what I'm actually going to talk about...I just wish that I had a clever name to assign to this post.

Anyway, so news numero un:

I found my in! If you don't get that, it means that I found my way into where I want to be. And where I want to be is friends with Blu. We're calling him Blu for my sake so that if he stumbles upon this...wait. He'll still figure it out...hmmm...we'll call him Blu anyway. He is so called because of the fact that he has blue hair! Blue! Well, it used to be blue. Lately, it's faded to more of a lavender-like color. I assume this is because it's not permanent and because he has really light blond hair which kinda warps the color...I like though (obviously).

So, Blu is pretty much the epitome of cool. He has lime green Andy Warhol sunglasses, and is...amazing, for lack of a better word. He's the head of AFC (Arthouse Film Club), which is pretty much like my Laemmle away from home. We watched this really cool documentary about how gays, lesbians, transgenders, and bisexuals are portrayed in the media and how far they've come. So it got me thinking...we should watch mockumentaries next week and compare! Mind you, I did this with absolutely no intention of gaining recognition from him. I just wanted people to have a good time and maybe stimulate a bit more conversation.

I had it all planned, what we should watch and everything. I emailed him (I know...I was amazed by my willingness to step outside my comfort zone, too...) and he emailed back saying that he liked the idea (yay!), and I then proceeded to play "Love Today" by Mika and do my little happy dance. I sent him my second email with the four movies I chose (Best in Show, Lollilove, Mail Order Wife, and Chalk, in case you were wondering) and waited for his thoughts on the titles.

No email. What I got was better. The next night I went to GSA and he actually came up to me and was like "Hey, India? Are you the one that's been emailing me?" Yes. "Oh my gosh, you're- You're so-Good job, okay? Keep it up."

Yay.

I'm pretty sure we would have talked more, but then the GSA people told us we had to move to the other room to take a picture...and then he had to go. But that little moment of recognition, that moment in which he was speechless...it was magical.

Let's get one thing straight: I do not, I repeat, do not like Blu. He just...I dunno, has the kind of cool vibe that draws me in. I want to be friends with him. That's all. I want him to be my cool, reminds-me-of-my-friends-back-home, senior buddy. Get it?

Good. Now onto big news numero deux:

I saw Spencer (who will receive know codename simply because I can't think of one) in a situation whch awkward for myself. I went with my friend to the Puja room in the basement and waited for her lesson. I knocked on the door (because Katie is wuss and can't do it on her own) and pushed it open. The intstructor kindly asked me to wait just a bit longer as he wanted to finish up the lesson. But not before I got an eyeful of Spencer's pasty, veerrrryyy naked torso.

Awkward turtles anyone?

So Spencer, who I once viewed as a particularly cool individual (much like Blu) will forever be burned into my brain as the guy I saw in the Puja room without a shirt on. You know what the funny thing is? When he saw me, he looked at me like I was the weird one.

Hmm...that's all for today...Though it was awful long, no? Oh well.