My Smelly Laundry

Wow, well I guess technically this is the first post I wrote today, but it still feels like yesterday, being only about 12:05am and all.

Let's get to the point. No more funny, spazzy things. This is ugly and smelly. Deal.

My blog is not serious. At least, it hasn't been in recent days. Something about that bothers me. My friends (with the exception of Tomi) all have pretty serious blogs. They feature photos they took and the things they deal with. For reals. I sit around, joking, entertaining my sometimes less than lateral (yes, I just finished The Last Days) thinking.

So I admit it, I care what they think. I do. They're my friends, it's a healthy thing to do. But blogging seems to put the worst me out in the limelight for judging. I'm selfish and needy. I want to loved and adored constantly. It's who I am. But generally I was pretty good at hiding that me. At least, I think I was.

But blogging has made me see myself in a clearer light. For instance, I was so incredibly disillusioned by my spectacularly unspectacular not-date with Richard that I missed the point of a friend's message. She was hurting and I was selfish and unseeing. I feel stupid, with all my smelly faults hanging out for all to see.

So I apologize. To any and everyone to whom I was less than gracious to. I apologize for the time that I monopolized and the selfish stories I told. I'm sorry for being a flake when you needed me. I'm a sucky, clingy, self-absorbed friend. I should burned at the stake.

And still, do you see! Me! ...blah. I hate the word 'me' so much right now. Sometimes I wish this 'me' person would shut up.